Sunday, February 28, 2010

Dating over 50 - online is the way to go!

Online dating is a great way for people to find love, but it’s not always as easy and straightforward as we would like it to be. Many people spend months trying to meet the person of their dreams on the Internet and get nowhere. The checklist below will help you troubleshoot your cyber dating experience if things are not going as well as you would like them to. Have you uploaded a picture?

We’d all like to be loved and appreciated for more than just our appearance, but the fact is, online daters like to know who they are talking to. Many people won’t bother contacting someone who hasn’t uploaded a picture, thinking that person obviously has something to hide. A good picture is one that shows people what you look like. Don’t be put off uploading one if you are not conventionally “beautiful”. Whatever you look like, it’s a safe bet to assume that people who look like you meet and fall in love all the time. Uploading a clear picture where you’re smiling and look friendly is your best bet. Headshots are best, with full body shots OK as a second picture. Uploading pictures of anything or anyone that is obviously not you will only damage your chances.

Your aim when writing a profile is to make people want to get to know you. With thousands or even millions of people on a dating site, putting up a profile that says nothing but “ask me”, won’t make anyone want to contact you, unless you are a beautiful woman and have uploaded a photo (in which case, only guys who are after sex would bother contacting you). Show people a bit about who you are by writing a profile they will actually want to read. Spend some time actually describing yourself, rather than just listing adjectives (such as “I’m generous, friendly, good cook” etc.) anyone can write the words “I’m funny” but not everyone can make you laugh.

Whether you are a man or a woman, it helps to get out there and contact people yourself. Online dating is fast moving us from the times when men were the ones who had to make first contact and women had to sit back and wait or be thought of as too “forward”. With so many thousands of people to choose from, the person you want to talk to may never have a chance to browse your profile unless you let them know you exist, so do it! Regardless of whether they’re interested in you or not, no one will ever hold it against you if you send him/her a message.

You think your profile is as good as can be, you’ve uploaded a friendly picture and have sent messages to as many people as you’ve seen but still no response. What now? The next questions to ask involve the way you communicate with others. Was your message too short? Just writing “hi” or other impersonal, short messages can make people think your message was not sent personally to them or that you didn’t feel they were worth spending a few more minutes coming up with something better to write. Try to write a couple of paragraphs and make the message sound like you’ve put some thought into it. Maybe comment on that person’s profile and say why you chose to contact him/her. Unless you are on a web site where the premise is people have come there looking for sex, don’t be too forward. It would most likely not be appreciated. These are only a few of the “rules” for online dating, stay tuned for many more!

If you thought that because you're getting older means life is over, wake up! It's just getting better for some folks. Even if you haven't dated in years, you can start again with a little advice and encouragement. Sign up for my newsletter, read these great lenses, and get started now on a new adventure and a new life!

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